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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29147058">kill your local indie softboy (kill your local asshole anarchists)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/boffy/pseuds/boffy'>boffy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>two dumb friends, and one mean man [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anger, Angst, Arguing, Author is a TommyInnit Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Gen, Ghosts, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Phil Watson's A+ Parenting (Video Blogging RPF), Rated teen for swearing, Swearing, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, i am a proud technoblade and phil anti &lt;3 /j, tommy apologists unite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:47:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,976</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29147058</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/boffy/pseuds/boffy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>boffy yelling at techno and phil for ten minutes asmr</p><p>(some of them like boring guitar bands and some of them like minimal techno)<br/>(that they'll tell you all about, even though you don't fucking care)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Boffy &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Boffy &amp; Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Boffy &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>two dumb friends, and one mean man [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098311</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>472</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>no-rpf dsmp collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>kill your local indie softboy (kill your local asshole anarchists)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>pov this took me so fucking long to finish and it shows because every sentence is so,,,, disjointed,,,<br/>anyway enjoy tommy apologist propaganda from back when tommy "betrayed" techno which he didn't actually do fuck you</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>philza and techno come home from doomsday.</p><p> </p><p>they walk silently, comfortably, and alone over the rolling fields of snow and ice and techno wonders if this is what peace feels like. the satisfaction of watching l’manburg crash and burn to the ground, watching the government try and fail to pick up the pieces of their crumbling democracy, and their crumbling minds was greater than anything techno has ever felt before. he wonders if this is what life would be like if he listened to the voices more often, and they are quick to agree, desperate for more control over techno’s life, and their eagerness tips techno off to the fact that, no, his life would not be better. chat groans and throws a tantrum over that, spamming whatever they could possibly come up and nightbot is working their ass off to block them. techno snickers and when phil looks at him quizzically, he shows chat on the screen of his communicator and phil lets out a smiling breath and shakes his head at their antics and that's that. there is no humming of a brother long gone, no chattering of a ghost, and there are no loud shrieks of laughter and whining that come from the youngest. there is just an almost piglin and his almost father on their way to someplace almost peaceful. and as they open the door to techno’s cottage, shaking off the snow from their heavy capes, the keyword of almost really starts to show.</p><p> </p><p>“there they are! there're my favorite war criminals!” </p><p> </p><p>the sarcasm filled tone of a young boy fills the ears of techno and phil, and they try to hold back a groan. the boy notices their plight and laughs at their dismay for him, flopping around the living room before finally hopping over the edge of the couch to rest. phil rubs his hand over the bridge of his nose and forehead, an obvious headache forming, and he smiles apologetically at techno as he walks up the stairs, leaving techno and the boy, the thorn in techno’s side, to deal with each other. the boy is a sore reminder of the betrayal techno had just faced, and he grimaces at the thought of his younger brother, and yet, in all his socially inept glory, he ignores the reminder and works at creating potato soup in the kitchen. the kid doesn’t like that and follows techno, shouting and teasing all the way, with only getting an exasperated sigh from techno. once techno reaches the kitchen, he leans back onto the counter and asks in his monotone voice,</p><p> </p><p>“why are you still here boffy? shouldn’t you be with tommy doing fuck all?”</p><p> </p><p>the boy, boffy, reels back in shock, not expecting the blunt answer, but quickly bounces back with an .</p><p> </p><p>“can’t leave.” techno goes to ask why, but boffy quickly cuts him off again, “i renewed my ghostly attachment, or whatever it is, to tommy here so i can’t go until it expires. simple as that.”</p><p> </p><p>the piglin rubs his eyes and forehead, calming a forming headache, and wonders if this is what it was like for phil when he had to kick tubbo out of the house because his dad was getting worried. </p><p> </p><p>“alright. okay, fine, whatever. i can work with this. just...” techno trails off, trying to find the right words to finish his sentence with. he was never much of a wordsmith, never really charismatic, not like wilbur or phil, or even tommy in certain situations, was. he’s not good at this whole traumatized teenager thing, if the whole thing with tomy shows anything, and he doesn’t know how to tell the kid to shut up nicely. so he doesn’t. </p><p> </p><p>“just can it, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>boffy tilts his head curiously, his eyes slitting in suspicion while he watches technoblade’s elegant frame move around the kitchen to cook. maybe it’s not the same for everyone, only heaven knows what the fuck ghostbur is on, but boffy likes to think being a ghost has made him more observant. he has no need to sleep, or blink, or eat, none of those mortal necessities able to distract him from watching the living go about their lives, and he wonders what happened that made techno change so drastically. he doesn’t know what happened in l’manburg that night of the festival, all he knows is that tommy didn’t come back and that phil and techno were preparing for this night. the night passed on uneventfully for the ghost, and he cursed the spirit bond he held to the home and it’s surroundings for not allowing him to reach the outside world where tommy was. he knows that something definitely happened tonight, or on the festival night, that changed techno and tommy’s, and phil’s too probably, relationship and dynamic greatly, but he didn’t know what. so, boffy does what boffy does best, pry input out of whatever poor soul is near him. technoblade is a hard target, he would need to rile him up first to make him drop his guard and spill what happened, and that's hard to do with phil right around the corner. but phil, phil’s easier. observant maybe, intelligent definitely, but less, what’s the word? stable than his adopted son. murdering your wife and eldest will do that, boffy supposes. he leaves techno, and drifts up the stairs to phil, taking as much time as he wants to get up there. </p><p> </p><p>(techno and phil are different, he cannot rush phil. techno is flighty and skittish, the years of bloody struggle and fighting leaving him on edge and his reflexes fast and the years of cold war, of spies and secrets, leave him paranoid of betrayal. boffy has to catch techno off guard, move faster than a god to get him to spill his secrets, and boffy’s not looking to put in that much effort just for some measly information tommy will tell him in two weeks. phil is easier, not softer or kinder mind you, boffy knows better than that, but definitely easier. approach him slowly, poke at a few nerves or traumatic memories, and he tips over and spills. it’s a little shitty, little warped, little bit like something dream would do, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.)</p><p> </p><p>he reaches the door to phil’s room, and it’s silent. phil might be sleeping, he might not be, but it’s interesting to the people observer inside boffy to see it. there is no worried pacing from inside the home like when the butcher army was attempting to execute techno and there are no broken sobs from when he had killed wilbur the first doomsday. there is nothing, no heartbreak or worry or arguing, and a small part of boffy hopes to god that this means that tommy isn’t hurt. he knows better than that, so he barges interrupting a reading phil who lets out a pained sigh at the sight of him. they stand at a stalemate, phil not wanting to say a single word to his son’s friend and boffy trying to figure out the right words to say that would not immediately give him away.</p><p> </p><p>“so.” </p><p> </p><p>boffy blinks, and looks at philza, who is looking up from his book with a raised eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“so?”</p><p> </p><p>boffy repeats after phil, his words sounding more like a question than the older mans, and phil rolls his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“so what do you want? attention?”</p><p> </p><p>boffy reels back, he’s used to bluntness and anger, but not usually from phil. it’s usually from techno or wilbur and schlatt back in the spirit realm, but phil is less directly angry. he’s polite in the way bitchy suburban moms are, all tight lipped, strained smiles and glares behind backs. boffy isn’t dumb. he sees and hears how phil talks about him and tommy when they aren’t there, whether it be to techno or sammie or his chat, he knows phil can’t stand him and could care less about tommy. <em> fine </em> he thinks to himself <em> fine fine fine. </em>if philza wants to be brash, boffy will bounce back mean and firey, like he is with everyone else. </p><p> </p><p>“information” boffy says bluntly, monotone and deadpan, with an underlying threat underneath his words. “what happened today?”</p><p> </p><p>if phil is panicked, it doesn’t show, as the man goes back to reading. boffy would brush it off, mark it down to paranoia because the voices have lied to him before to get a rise out of him, why wouldn’t they lie about doomsday, but something’s off. there is no chuckle from phil, no rubbing of his temples and saying ‘what makes you ask that?’ techno was angry, but only slightly, in the way that you are when you win an argument you were passionate about and you're going over the words of the other in your head, and boffy had only ever seen him that way when he had blown l’manburg up the first time. something’s wrong, phil is hiding something from him. wait, wait wait wait wait wait. tommy isn’t here. why isn’t tommy here? he’s supposed to be with phil and techno, like he was supposed to be a few days ago, and he isn’t. which means phil and techno did something to get him to leave, because god knows tommy wouldn’t leave unless he felt unsafe. in a similar fashion to techno, boffy asks phil exactly what he’s thinking, social etiquette be damned.</p><p> </p><p>“listen to me phil, where the fuck is tommy and what did you do to him?”</p><p> </p><p>phil glances up at the ghost with a sly smile, knowing and secretive, and anyone else would call him mysterious, but boffy just thinks he’s being an ass. phil stands and shakes his head at boffy’s anger, dismissing it like boffy is a child throwing a tantrum, abd boffy can’t stand it. he repeats the question, and phil has the audacity to laugh in his face.</p><p> </p><p>“he’s in l’manburg boffy, or the remnants of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“the rem-” boffy cuts himself off with a frown, “the fucking <b> <em>what?</em> </b> what the fuck did you do to him?”</p><p> </p><p>“nothing he didn’t deserve. he betrayed us boffy, your little ‘tommy can do no wrong’ complex can’t help you now. after everything we did for him, he left us for the kid who exiled him.”</p><p> </p><p>phil smiles again, sharp and mean, threatening, or at least trying to be. boffy is not scared, not of a coward of a man who destroys a country of children, of his own children, because his eldest child is throwing a temper tantrum. boffy is not scared of someone who cannot conceal his anger, because even with his tight-lipped smiles and condescending laughs, boffy can see better than anyone the rage burning in his eyes. so boffy does what boffy does best, piss off old men. he takes off his mask, catching phil by surprise, and raises his eyebrows in a critical, philza like manner.</p><p> </p><p>“what did you expect?”</p><p> </p><p>the anger radiates off him in waves, form shattered and darkened by rage. the soft light of a flickering torch outside slowly dies in the snow, as phil drops his grin and watches the young ghost with wide eyes. boffy insults phil for badly concealed hate and anger, and yet he is the same. phil grips the sword by his bedside and boffy almost laughs. it's an empty threat, it cannot be fulfilled. even if phil could best boffy in combat, boffy is a spirit, nothing but a wisp of the past, stuck in the limbo between life and death because a human boy refuses to let go of his memory. phil stutters out,</p><p> </p><p>“i don’t- what the hell is that supposed to mean?! how were we supposed to know he would betray us?!”</p><p> </p><p>boffy rolls his eyes. phil is incompetent, he always has been, through mortal childhood and godhood and fatherhood, he can barerly understand that not every child is like his middle.</p><p> </p><p>“were you expecting him to just drop everything? he’s given everything up for that country! his childhood, his life, his most prized possessions, his own brother, were you expecting that to change just because techno let him live here for a few weeks!”</p><p> </p><p>boffy can hear the clacking of hooves against stairs, techno probably just now realizing something is up. phil glances at the door as techno bursts in, but boffy pays the piglin no mind. techno comes up from behind boffy, axe in hand and ready to strike, but philza shakes his head no and techno lowers the axe tentatively. he goes in front of philza, protecting him from the spirit, and boffy fights the urge to light his insides on fire. to strike a match and shove it down his throat, leaving him to burn out slowly and painfully like boffy did years ago, with only a single person to care. to crush the embers of his burnt body under his foot and lock philza in the basement and burn the house to the ground. he wants everyone to go up in flames and he wants-</p><p> </p><p>“don’t act like tommy is such an angel, he’s selfish! i would've fought them all for tommy, i told him so, and he threw that away! we gave him everything and he took and took from us! he never gave us anything in return!”</p><p> </p><p>boffy turns his dark depths of eyes to techno, furrowing his eyebrows. techno has the feeling he’s done something, said something, very, very wrong. the voices are quiet, whispering amongst themselves. ‘he was always so rebellious’ they say. ‘he never really liked techno much, hated him more than the rest of us ever did, even jokingly.’ they whisper. techno does not have the time to ponder on their meaning, not when he’s in the middle of an argument, but he thinks something is off. he dismisses it, going to start another point against boffy, yet the younger cuts him off, which is beginning to become a pattern</p><p> </p><p>“tommy has nothing to offer to you. he has nothing to give to, not to the men with everything. not after being beaten and broken and stripped bare by a god with nothing better to do.”</p><p> </p><p>he shoves techno back, frustrated and pissy like the child he is, his anger louder than any words he could’ve spoken. the voices are silent now, for all three of them, watching the argument like a twisted show. they drag entertainment out of the broken bodies of traumatized children of war and flame and the strong figures of powerful men, presidents and kings and gods.</p><p> </p><p>“you saying that you would’ve fought them all for him means nothing to him, not when you’ve beaten him bloody in a pit, and you’ve neglected him his whole life, and not when neither of you have ever been there for him. did you really think a few weeks would make him trust you, even after everything you’ve done, after every time you betrayed him?!”</p><p> </p><p>boffy takes a deep breath, collects himself. his anger should not be like this, should not be tears and shaky hands and something reminiscent of a tantrum. he’s better than that, and he will not waste whatever emotional competency he has left on tommy’s shit brother and father. philza and technoblade do not say anything, not yet, and not to him. they share a look at each other, speaking a wordless language no one else can understand, and boffy cannot stand it. boffy does not pride himself on reading people, never knowing or caring about someone for long enough to be able to read them, and when he finally did care enough, with tommy, it was too late to learn. techno doesn’t seem to care about boffy’s inner monologue when he speaks, still defending himself after everything.</p><p> </p><p>“i told him what my intentions were!” techno raises his voice, trying to tune out the aching sounds of boffy being right with his wobbling screaming voice. philza watches, like he has always done, a bystander in his children’s lives forever and always. </p><p> </p><p>“i told him, i told him, i told him!” his voice is breaking, cracking in all the wrong places and he repeats his words as if they would make them true. “i was only teaching him a lesson, and i retired, and i was just- i was just-!” he falters. “i was just teaching him a lesson.”</p><p> </p><p>“you cannot teach a lesson about violence through violence. you cannot teach a lesson about betrayal through betrayal. wither scars and scalding memories do not say ‘this is why you shouldn’t do this’ but instead say ‘do this more to be stronger. if you did it better this wouldn’t have happened’ you cannot treat children like men on a battlefield, your bloody version of anarchy will not sound like ‘eventual peace’ to them. you cry and wail about tommy’s betrayal and tommy’s anger and tommy’s violence when you taught him through it. tommy is a baby duckling, repeating the words and action of his idols. you should've been better. if he betrays you, that is how he was raised. you have no right to be upset.” boffy says, but it comes out “fuck you asshole. eat shit and die.”</p><p> </p><p>boffy is gone, a wisp of what he once was and techno and phil pick up themselves from the aftermath. none of them are good at communication, so boffy simmers in anger under the house, and techno and phil pretend with each other that they aren't on the verge of shattering. </p><p> </p><p>(somewhere halfway across the world, tommy aches deep in his bones, feeling the resigned anger of a close friend flowing through him. somewhere deep in the stars clara watches as her boys fall apart. somewhere in the recesses of a rundown library minx yearns for what could've been a healthy family.) </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>pls comment it boosts my ego lol :red_heart: kudos and bookmarks r also appreciated<br/>follow me on <a href="https://fridgeza.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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